Your Clock Is Spinning, But That Hand's No Eraser

It's 1:00 in the morning...I'm not tired...Not in the least bit. Instead, I've got things racing through my mind--mostly thoughts resulting from memories.

• It's officially Christmas Day. Has been for an hour actually. What will I get? I have absolutely no clue. I haven't really asked for anything. For that matter, I haven't really thought about the gift part of Christmas. I mean, I got myself a shirt and a new hat...Sydney a cd...my dad a canvas pad to practice his painting...And that's it. That actually makes me feel pretty selfish and thoughtless. Especially considering the fact that I have a job now, and have the to buy people presents. Am I really that self involved? At the same time, knowing my mom, dad, and sister...they've all probably bought me something. What's my excuse? When will I grow up and start giving?
• I admit, I'm not the most Christian person by any means. Actually, I'm at a point where I'm a little confused on my religious position. But that's beside my point. At work, I recently ran into an old Sunday School teacher that suggested I come to a Christmas performance at my church (Pleasant Grove Baptist Church). For the sake of being polite and courteous, not to mention feeling obligated, I accepted the invitation. Not having been to church for...hmm...4 years now; it was a tad bit awkward to see some old faces. First of all, my Granny was there. I squeezed in between my Granny and my uncle Phil, in the seat where my Granddaddy used to sit (when he came, that is--he was raised Catholic, you see). My Granny, for one, was surprised at my presence, as well as many other members: Uncle Phil, Pastor Stone, Mr. Rafferty, Mrs. Carter, Mrs. Stephanie Bosley (who also worked at Moonlite with me). There was also the Meekers, the Sevys...which I don't think saw me..., as well as some faces who were no one else but familiar. I was told that the church was always home to me, and that I can come anytime, for it was just down the road. The truth is...That place is home, and those people are family (not, all, literally), but...anymore, there's nothing spiritual about the place. It's a building full of memories, people, and love. But I guess it's a life that I left behind. When my Granddad died...so did that spiritual part of me. It was easy for me to sit in that pew that he'd sat in just, God..., 5 or 6 years ago. Because I'll be damned if I catch someone else fill that position..."Hello! My name's Selfish, and I can't move on."
• After watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I am reminded of my celebrity crushes:

-Kate Voegele (Musician: Don't Look Away, A Fine Mess; and Actress: One Tree Hill)

-Kristen Bell (Actress: Veronica Mars, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

-Mila Kunis (Actress: That 70's Show, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

-Michelle Trachtenberg (Actress: Gossip Girl, Eurotrip)

-Blake Lively (Actress: Gossip Girl)

-Julie McNiven (Actress: Supernatural)

-Katie Cassidy (Actress: Supernatural)

-Sasha Barrese (Actress: Supernatural)

-Molly C. Quinn (Actress: Castle)

-Michelle Monaghan (Actress: Saw her on a talk show)